Comments on: How To Stop Finger Pointing In Relationships http://www.jimvaleri.com/2010/04/finger-pointing/ Got Stress? Sat, 10 Jul 2010 12:28:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Jim Valeri, LMHC http://www.jimvaleri.com/2010/04/finger-pointing/comment-page-1/#comment-262 Jim Valeri, LMHC Fri, 16 Apr 2010 12:47:57 +0000 http://www.jimvaleri.com/?p=568#comment-262 Char, That sounds like a great idea! I should give that a shot with some of my couples! My only concern is that some couples would use their own "right day" as a launch pad for more fighting. Though if that's the case, I suppose they have bigger problems than just finger pointing! Great comment! Char,

That sounds like a great idea! I should give that a shot with some of my couples! My only concern is that some couples would use their own “right day” as a launch pad for more fighting. Though if that’s the case, I suppose they have bigger problems than just finger pointing!

Great comment!

]]> By: Char Ele En http://www.jimvaleri.com/2010/04/finger-pointing/comment-page-1/#comment-255 Char Ele En Wed, 07 Apr 2010 14:04:01 +0000 http://www.jimvaleri.com/?p=568#comment-255 I agree with you that couples love to blame each other. It's sort of a way of deflecting "badness" and we all love to be "right" and "good"! In my practice I often encourage couples to take turns in being "right" Each gets to be "right" every other day. It makes it into more of a game, lightens the mood, and reminds couples that neither is right, and both are right. It is a gift to be given "rightness" without having to prove you are right, and it feels good to give the gift as well! Usually works very well, unless there are deeper issues and then it can be a diagnostic tool to understand that there are deeper issues needing to be addressed in our work together. What do you think? I agree with you that couples love to blame each other. It’s sort of a way of deflecting “badness” and we all love to be “right” and “good”! In my practice I often encourage couples to take turns in being “right” Each gets to be “right” every other day. It makes it into more of a game, lightens the mood, and reminds couples that neither is right, and both are right. It is a gift to be given “rightness” without having to prove you are right, and it feels good to give the gift as well! Usually works very well, unless there are deeper issues and then it can be a diagnostic tool to understand that there are deeper issues needing to be addressed in our work together. What do you think?

]]> By: Tweets that mention How To Stop Finger Pointing In Relationships -- Topsy.com http://www.jimvaleri.com/2010/04/finger-pointing/comment-page-1/#comment-254 Tweets that mention How To Stop Finger Pointing In Relationships -- Topsy.com Fri, 02 Apr 2010 21:53:54 +0000 http://www.jimvaleri.com/?p=568#comment-254 [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jim Valeri. Jim Valeri said: How to Stop Finger Pointing In Relationships - http://www.jimvaleri.com/2010/04/finger-pointing/ - Reducing arguments in relationships! [...] [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jim Valeri. Jim Valeri said: How to Stop Finger Pointing In Relationships – http://www.jimvaleri.com/2010/04/finger-pointing/ – Reducing arguments in relationships! [...]

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