I work with a lot of people from all different walks of life. I see people who are successful, some who are not, and some who are just making ends meet. One thing that I find in common no matter where my clients come from is this:
Many men suck at Valentine’s Day.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m right in there with the rest of you guys, I’ll admit it. But I have to ask myself this one question: How can you possibly blow it on Valentine’s Day? This is the one day each year (aside from your anniversary if you’re married) that you can really make some headway. This is the one day out of the year that you can go out there, put some thought into something and gain some free brownie points.
Now granted, I think Valentine’s Day is a bit skewed. After all, no one puts pressure on the ladies to perform (actually, that’s not true, with all the lingerie sales, etc.), but the guys really have the responsibility to go out and do something special; something nice to show your significant other that you care.
But what do women get a lot of times? Cheap chocolates from CVS or Walgreens. Flowers bought on the side of the road because you can’t call a decent florist at that short an amount of time and get the flowers delivered. Did you go out and buy the $30 special at Kay Jewelers this season because it was cheap and no more than an afterthought?
Please don’t misunderstand me here guys. I’m coming at you like this to prove a point. If these are the gifts you’re buying for your woman, than its time to get a value makeover. Bear in mind too, I’m not asking you to spend more money, merely do something incredibly thoughtful, or at least fake it really well. You can do this on a budget and still make her day. Curious? Keep reading.
OK, so what am I getting at here? The idea is that if you’re in bad with your woman (and those of you reading this know who you are) then taking a couple hours to plan and execute a thoughtful Valentine’s Day gift can really help you in the long run. Here are some of my suggestions:
1. Don’t just get her a card. Write something meaningful from your heart. Yeah, yeah, I know the only appropriate emotion to feel is anger (cause we’re men after all), but really think about how wonderful life is now that you are with your lady. Really dig in there and share from your heart.
2. Don’t just get her flowers. Or jewelry, or candy. Know what her favorites (i.e color, flower, or flavor) are and make the order in advance. Don’t just get the show special, show her that you understand her as a person, and give her something that shows it.
3. Acts of service count too. Make her her favorite meal. Get a team together and clean the apartment and surprise her. Get a babysitter so she can have some time off. Watch the kids while she gets a manicure. These things go a long way. Remember the Pine Sol commercial where the ripped guy is mopping the floor? Chicks dig that. Just ask your lady.
4. Be creative. If you have any real talent like music, art or cooking, then show her that you really took some time and thoughtfulness in making her something that you know she will love. Remember, relating is what relationships are really all about. Hence the term, Relationship.
In other words, don’t blow it. Don’t take the easy way out with Valentine’s Day. You very rarely get an opportunity to hit an easy homerun with your significant other. Don’t blow it because you’re lazy, and don’t blow it because you’re cheap. You can be thoughtful and a freaking rock star all at the same time. It just involves some effort, time and understanding.
Again, don’t get me wrong. I’m not one for Hallmark Holidays, and this one is clearly that sort of thing. But I understand the psychology behind what Valentine’s Day means. Whether or not you agree with the marketing side of it, you have to admit that most women accept this as a man’s responsibility. So take advantage of this and rebuild some of the ground you may have lost. Do it right, and you can smooth over some of the bumps. If things are already good, then this can help take things to the next level.
What do you think? Pointless effort? Or worthwhile endeavor? Talk to me.