Before you go getting on my case, I’m not criticizing the President. Hell, I’m not even mad at him for getting the Nobel Prize on Friday. I’m more upset at the fact that the Nobel Committee decided to give him the Prize based on presumed accomplishment, whereas so many others worked hard and could show their accomplishments before receiving their Nobel Prize. Don’t believe me? Go here and take a look at the other winners. Each of them obtained a prize for an accomplishment they did over the course of their lifetime.
This is totally stuff I can’t control, but I can at least share my feelings about it and the possible impact for children. Yes, that’s right, this is more about what we tell kids. I’m sure teachers after the Columbus Day break will be teaching kids about the Nobel Prize and what have you. Maybe they won’t, but with such a newsworthy piece, I’d be surprised if children didn’t learn about it.
And then disaster hits. You ask a child to do something first before they get the prize and you get the response, “Well, the President didn’t have to do anything, and he got the Nobel Prize.” At that point you can tell them they aren’t the President, but if they work hard, maybe they can become one someday.
I guess the problem here is again, something that is beyond our control. So it begs me to ask a question: What is a prize worth, and under what criterion does someone receive it?
My whole theraputic modality is around behavior modification with children, and encouraging parents to provide an incentive for good behavior. When stuff like this comes up, smart alec kids throw it in their parents’ face, defying parents’ interpretation of the “real world,” because in that same world people get prizes even though they may not necessarily deserve it (and the President himself admitted this in his press conference, which I think is admirable).
However, this opens up another topic: Fairness. Now I’ve already gone on a tangent about this, but I think this is the reason why so many people are upset or amused about the President getting the award is because they think its not fair. Well, as my father still says…
“I’ve got a flash for you. Life isn’t fair.”
Is it fair that he got the prize for what they percieve he is going to do? No. Could he turn around and do the exact opposite of their perceptions? Yup. What are they gonna do? Take the prize back? Not likely. Is any of that fair? Nope.
But life isn’t fair, and the sooner I realized that, the less upset I got about it. I mean, how many things happen every day of our lives that really aren’t fair at all. We hear news stories and read the papers or listen to our radios, and we absorb all this information about the world we live in. Wealthy people get wealthier. Irresponsible banks get bailed out. People ignore their financial and family responsibilities. It happens all the time.
So I had to ask myself, what the heck am I whining about? Because life isn’t fair, and I need to get over it. And its OK that life isn’t fair, because as a self-proclaimed underdog, I should expect that some others have an unfair advantage. All the better when I beat the odds and accomplish something.
So I guess my message here is simple: Just accept it. Accept the fact that life isn’t fair, and that a guy who is already a millionaire got $1.4 Million for projected accomplishments. Get over it. It happens all the time, we just don’t see it because the news doesn’t report on that stuff.
Don’t let something like this get you down, and sure as heck don’t let it get you mad. I wasted a couple hours of my life getting upset over this, and that’s time I can’t get back. So this comes back to the WATER Method and separate the problems into what you can and can’t change.
Unfairness will always be there. Put in the pile of stuff you can’t change and get stuff you can change done!
P.S. – When the heck is Ross Geller going to get his Nobel Prize? The guy was whining about it Season 9, and he still didn’t get one.
Jim;
I’m not whining about President Obama receiving the Nobel Prize. But I am also not holding it up as a good example for my own children to follow. We discussed this at the breakfast table this morning.
I am a firm believer that we get what we deserve based upon our actions in most situations, and our reactions to situations that we have no control over. President Obama received the Nobel Prize because of goals he has. Not completed goals, just the goal statements themselves. I feel the prize should be based upon completed goals and that is how I am raising my children.
Julie,
I was more referring to me when it came to the Obama/Nobel thing. I try not to whine too much, but every now and then, I am legitimately whining.
I totally understand having this conversation with your kids, and I think you’re smart to do it. I agree with you that a “prize” should be given for achievement, not for proposed achievement. It sends the wrong message to our children.
Problem is, it would be one thing if the United States were the guys doing it. Then we could make a stink and get the news media all over it. Since its Europeans in charge, our value systems are somewhat different, and thus, they are likely not concerned about the message it sends to our children.
So I agree, and my beef is with them. However, I’m a microscopic fish in the enormous world we live in. It is easier (for me anyway) to realize that there are stupid people in the world that will do stupid things like this that get a lot of attention, and there’s not a heck of a lot I can do about it.
Its quite freeing, actually, and I guess that was the message I was trying to send. Its in my control to say my peace about it, then move on to brighter stuff! 🙂
This president has had so many high expectations put on him by so many various groups that I don’t see how there is any way he can produce and make everyone happy. My motto: Under promise; Over perform. Set reasonable expectations and people feel they are getting their money’s worth. This Nobel prize is just one more expectation that Mr. Obama will have to address. Peace in the middle east?? Good luck with that. I’m not saying it can’t happen, but after 6000 years of negative conditioning, that belief is going to be hard to dislodge from so many who don’t share a common vision. To his credit, he said he didn’t deserve it and is giving the money away. God bless the man. I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes any day…
Barbara,
I love your motto! Under promise, Over perform. That way you don’t let anyone down, and you do your absolute best, rather than what will just suffice in the moment. It maintains humility, and increases integrity. Did I say I love it? 🙂
I like to look at the President as kind of Rorschach test. People seem to project onto him what they believe he will do, and I totally agree that when you set the expectations that high, its hard to meet all of them. I often thought I would make a good president as I am, but by the time I got there, I would be a completely differnent person than I am now. So I agree, I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes either.