One of the things I’ve noticed when people come to me with Anger, Fear, or Frustration, they usually don’t know how to control it. More often than not, there’s a pattern that’s going on here. Maybe you’ve noticed it in your own life. It starts with this emotion, and it feels like it takes control. Then, you do something that you likely regret later. You say something to someone out of anger, or you overdo it out of fear. And then you get hit with the reality that things didn’t turn out like you wanted them to.
This is what I call the E.A.R. problem. Using three letters from the WATER Method, this is another in my handy set of acronyms to help you manage this stuff. E.A.R. Stands for:
The emotions come first, with all their power and glory. Then they grab hold of our brain, toss it out the window, and take control of our actions. After that, you are hit with the often painful results of the emotion-action combo, and that is where it impairs your life.
How do you fix it? T.E.A.R. it up!
The T I’m adding is Thinking. Think about the process you’re going through and where its gotten you so far. It doesn’t seem to be working does it? So let’s do some creative thinking. With thinking at the start of the process, you can Think about the issue, consider how you want your Emotions to go. Act accordingly, and recognize that if you allow your emotions to take control, your Actions could get you into trouble. Then see the Results (or potential results) of the smarter choices unfold, and recognize that things could have gone/will go dramatically different.
So think about what it is that is causing you to feel the way you do when the emotions take control. Then see if there’s a different way you can look at it, or if you can use the WATER Method to determine if what is making you feel this way is something you can change or not. If it isn’t something you can change, sweet! That means that no matter what you do or how you feel, that problem is staying put. It doesn’t really care how you feel really, so its better to move your mind on to things that you can change. If its something you can change, now you can take Action and make some changes in your life.
Letting your emotions run wild is no good for anyone. Especially you. Taming those wild emotions by thinking about the process can really make a difference, and change the results that you want.