One of the key issues that I manage with the couples is communication. I can’t tell you how many of us have this as a core issue. Sometimes I think that people who can speak the same language often take this for granted, and as a result, believe that all they have to do is talk to someone and they’re communicating. If that were the case, I would have half the clients I have. So what is the key issue here?
Communication, like anything else is an art. Think about the way we communicate here on the magical internet. We have abbreviations for text messages, and we have websites and abbreviations for them. We have cell phones and email and Twitter, Social Networking sites and emoticons and all the frills you could possibly think of to communicate how you’re feeling, what you’re doing, and who you’re feeling and doing things with.
Yet communication still seems to be a big issue for people. Just today I joked around with a friend of mine, and he was offended at what I said. I didn’t mean anything negative by it, but he read it the wrong way. So anyone can be affected by this.
So how can we make sure that we are saying what we really want to say. Here are some ideas:
1. Be as clear as you can: Don’t assume people know what you mean…be specific.
2. Watch your tone: How many times have you said something and the other person misunderstood. This could be why.
3. Listen to what the other person is saying.
4. Manage your feelings about what the other person is saying (for example, think about words/actions that make you mad, and then manage your feelings about it).
5. Respond thoughtfully and without name callilng. This is a big one.
Sounds simple, right? OK, let’s make it easier:
Tone: Watch This
Address your feelings and respond thoughtfully
Listen to what the other person is saying.
Klarity in what you say: OK, this starts with a “C”, but you get the idea, right?
I find acronyms to be helpful, so maybe you can use this one. Have you improved your communication? If so how? Leave a comment and give some suggestions!