False Empathy

Someone you know/love is mad. So they take it out on you. Ouch! Painful!

So you decide its a good idea to find something just as equally mean or worse, and fire it back.

They get hurt. Score!

So on goes the tennis match. Each person getting more and more angry at the other, and hoping to “win” the argument somehow. But we all know what really happens. Both people get hurt, no one really wins, and in the end, more harm has been done than good.

So what do you do instead? Well, just recognizing the fact that you’re angry is a good start! Then figure out what you’re angry about. Thirdly, make a choice not to argue with this person. Lastly, make an attempt to communicate this to whoever you’re arguing with in as nice a way as possible.

See, throwing anger around at each other is false empathy. You want the other person to understand how angry or hurt you feel, so you try to hurt them back. This doesn’t accomplish a blasted thing, and instead of understanding each other, you end up being more and more upset.

Remember, you can only control your feelings. How to do that? Well, that’s another story for another day! 😉